Day 9: Love Lavelle

I believe nothing happens on accident but I don't know what the something is to why the non-coincidences happen. Yesterday was a very weird one.

In the back of my mind almost all the time, I think about baby names. I've done this most of my life even as a kid. In the back of every journal is a list of names that I would name my kids at that stage of my life. I love names. Now that I can actually name my dear little humans, it's even more exciting. Jovial is my favorite adjective and I liked Jovi for short. I really like names with 'V' in them. So now as I ponder Jovi's future siblings I think about 'V's as their common letter. My grandma from Ireland's last name was Lavelle. I always thought that was so cool. She has bright red hair and was quirky and cute. She said most of the people in her city in Ireland all had that name. It was very common. I pondered it as a first name but 'Lavi' just isn't nice nor is 'Velle'. Then I looked up 'lovella' or 'lovelle' who could get called 'love' for short or 'lovie'. It means loved and adored one. Who wouldn't want to be called that everyday of their life? I got excited but before my excitement grew I voiced my idea to Ed in the car yesterday.
'What do you think of the name Lovella?'
 'I've never heard of it or had a thought about it. I'll need to think about it awhile.'
That was a fair response. I thought I'd give him background and tell him about my grandma and her irish last name. Then I looked out the window and a semi was next to us. The whole side of the semi said 'LAVELLE' in really big letters. I don't remember the company or product, but it was just really bizarre to look over and see that.

Day 8: Busy with no plans.

Today my only prayer was to be distracted and not think about the job interview. "Did I get it or not??!!!" I've been analyzing the Q and A's over and over again. Thinking about what my life would look like if I got it and what it would like if I didn't.
 Everyday I make a to-do list. I am one of those people. I use to think stay at home moms had the dream life of nothing but kiddos and peace/quiet...I was so arrogant and ignorant. I am so busy everyday that it's unbelievable and the patience testing war that goes on is comparable to any 'job' I've ever had. But today I didn't make a to-do list for the first time in a long, long time. I just wanted to relax, read, write, drink coffee and get some more stuff together for the garage sale. My thoughts would not stop about the job.I couldn't focus on anything and I couldn't even sit and drink my coffee. That is a new low for me.

Then without my consent, my day began. I let the dogs out, Mr. Lunch digs a hole under the fence and runs away. I get Jovi cleaned off from breakfast put her in the stroller to look for Lunch and he comes right to me thankfully. Ed calls with a car crisis. I drove out  half hour to his work, stopped at store to get car part, store was closed, but saw one of my old students in the parking lot who didn't recognize me at all. :( I got sad. Then bucked up and  found another store, traded cars, and visited with my friend who just had a baby. It's impossible to have any negative or worried thoughts when you are holding a newborn. The newness rubs onto you and you see everything clear and simple. Ah....I drive back to car mechanic place which is 45 minutes away. My phone dies before I get there. My mom picks me up so I don't have to sit at creepy car place with Jovs. I helped put together garage sale and then back to car place. Car estimation to be fixed: $1600. It's impossible to think of anything else when someone quotes you that price unexpectedly. I picked up the car and got a complimentary air freshener without getting it fixed. I couldn't check my phone ALL DAY! What if they called! Argh! I get home, feed Jovi and phone rings before it even charged up. I jump up inside like it's the job calling to tell me....!!! It was a friend who was getting his motorcycle fixed up and needed a ride out to pick it up. I pack up poor Jovi again, who cried for the first time getting into her car seat and we drove a little bit away. It was 8pm before I thought about the job. The entire day flew bye and felt wasted.  I accomplished nothing today. But I did accomplish my goal of not thinking about the job. This is my least favorite coincidence so far but it seemed odd to be running around with displaced vehicles all day.

Day 7: a writer from ohio and a job decision.

So I had to watch a movie tonight. I have been suppressing my movie moods lately and I absolutely had to watch a random one tonight after jovi fell asleep. Ed wouldn't of course join me because there was a high heel on the cover.

"The Devil wears Prada" was my pick. I haven't watched a movie in a really long time and I forget how I get really into whatever movie I watch. I subconsciously find similarities between myself and the heroine, I find similar qualities in the co-stars that my friends have and so on. I like to sit and ponder movies after I see them about how they relate to me and what they make me think. The girl began as a fruppy "chubby" writer from Ohio and lost herself because of a job she didn't really want but thought she had to take to help her get to wherever it was she wanted to go. The movie's climax was really the very last scene where she walks away from it all and cuts all ties. She is thankful for her experience but in a moment made a huge decision. She even gave away all her awesome work clothes.

Now there was no villain at my job who wore Prada or anything like that, but the past few days since my interview I feel like I may not get it. And that it may not be what I wanted after all and that it would change me into someone that I wouldn't like.  I will be excited either way because I have spiced up my plan B but I just like my fruppy, writing self from Ohio. I don't miss dressing up everyday and pretending to be professional with all my strength. A few weeks ago I packed up a lot of my clothes for a garage sale.

Daruis Rucker sandwich with the questionable center.

The day of the awaited interview comes but I wake up with indifference instead of excitement. This is just very weird. This job is the most logical, best paying, least time-consuming, most my passion and just makes the most sense for goodness sakes!! and I finally get the interview. I had good coffee/reading/discussions with God about my contradicting self while Jovi ate her breakfast. I get on my nice suit (with the tags still on it) with shiny shoes and get Jovi equally dolled up because it makes me happy. I savored every little moment with Jovi this morning for whatever reason and got all teary eyed for no reason. Then on my way to drop off Jovi to be watched while I am interviewing,  the song by lovely Darius Rucker, "It won't be like this for long" comes on. I tried to turn it and was completely powerless. UGH! The words of that song just beat me up inside. Don't anybody watch the video. My nice professional self got ruined by mascara. "Get yourself together, Amy! This is what people do! They have kids and they go to work all day to pay for the kid. It will be all right."  I get sadder because I wish I could call my dad but if he were alive, his comments wouldn't be encouraging anyway. But he'd give me a good 'buck up, kid.' So by the time I drop off my pumpkin and then get to the interview, I was mentally exhausted just from thinking. My thoughts actually leave me winded as if I just exercised. The interview went fine, not amazing and not terrible just middle of the road, I'd say.  Just like always when I'm about to get what I thought I wanted, I think of all the things I then won't be able to have. (I told you life always feels like a Choose your own adventure novel to me.) So I of course think what I  won't have if I get the job: my cherished mornings with Jovi, my cavalier cuddling time, my Jovial play time, laughing in the sun room before the heat of the day, watch Jovi crawl around and chase Mr. Lunch, the front porch in the afternoon and Jovi stares down all the neighborhood kids that she will play with soon as she can catch up to them. I almost felt like crying again.  Then another Hootie song comes on as I leave the interview "Alright". (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etr7UtnUflM&ob=av2e)  It's about all the things in life you don't need and how he already has everything he wants. UGH! I should stay home, be poor and it will be all right. alright.  I stop at my house quick and get out of the nice suit because I will be taking it back (gasp!) tomorrow and cleaned all the marks from the shiny shoes which (gasp! gasp!) have to go back as well. I've never done this before don't be to mad at me.  Then I go back out to pick up my delicious Jovi. The 'Alright' song plays again during dinner and it cheers up my churning spirit. So we'll see what happens next. I'm sure it will all work out fine.

Sidenote coincidence: Today Jovi took her first 6 steps in a row and today Jovi took her first 2 major falls one off a couch and one off a porch. :( Neither falls would have happened if I didn't have the interview. But it's all right. alright! I got a roof over my head, the fella I love laying in my bed and it's all right...all right. I got shoes under my feet..."

Non-coincedence day 6: Juicy center of a Michael Jackson Sandwich.

Day starts at 6:30am Saturday morning. Key word is Saturday.  Jovi jumping up and down in her make-shift pack n' play bed infront of the airconditioner, staring right at me and whiny crying. Ed is gone and the busy dog is missing. The lazy orange dogs and I tried to finish our dreaming but were unsuccessful. Jovi wins. I barely make it down the stairs with my drunken state of sleep. There is my beloved listening to Michael Jackson, 'The way you make me feel.’ My husband is a morning person.  I grumble sleep talk said “if you are up, you can take Jovi with you when she is up too…grumble, grumble.” It is impossible to be angry with the Michael and his ‘uhh-chunkaohhh’  going on in the background. 

Middle of the day at 3:30pm I get a random restricted phone call that I question and decide against answering. That was it. After weeks of phone calls, emails and unspeakable worrying and future planning, the human resource director calls me late on a Saturday afternoon.  The message said I have an interview the day after tomorrow. Trying not to think about the weirdness/unprofessionalness of a restricted Saturday afternoon phone call and a one day preparation time, I am soooo excited! It just seems funny that after an entire year that I could have known what I was doing, had a nice comfortable plan and been ready, I get a random Saturday afternoon call.  When I finally let all the stress and worry go a bit and decide to float along trusting God, I get a crazy call. That is just like how God speaks to me sometimes. When I fight so desperately for what I want him to say and when I want him to say it, it’s like trying to catch a fruit fly. I never catch it and just get end up feeling frustrated, annoyed, exhausted and alone.  But when I just let him speak and I just relax and listen, the peace and calm of his way just lands on me and I am elated.

Day ends 11:30pm driving home from our fabulous dinner with young married couples where we had delicious food and conversation. The radio on scan blares dear Michael with ‘the way you make me feel’. Again I say, it is just impossible to not be happy when that song plays. I loved that song as the book mark to my day. I highly recommend anyone who reads this to go listen to that song.  Ed and I will be working on a choreographed dance for our next wedding day dancing extravaganza. There is so much to be excited for in my life. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nie9lKPifg 

non coincedence day 5

Well, I just had a lovely gathering of ladies at my house and we chatted for hours. It was wonderful and I am still contemplating the conversations. My day flew bye and I just sat down with nothing to report about a shining coincidence of the day.  I said to my husband, "I have nothing to write about that happened today." He sat down across from me on the other couch and looked at me with a blank, gawking stare with one hand in the couch cushion. "Here it is!" he said and then pulled his debit card out of the couch cushion. Our spouse hobby is looking for things. We lose everything. Wallets, car keys, bills, phone numbers, business cards, reeds, hats, bagpipe outfit stuff, pacifiers, credit cards and the list could just keep going. The most recent was the debit card incident which is quite a tragedy. We ripped apart the house late last night and continued when we woke up this morning. We tore apart every level of the house, past worn clothing items, both cars and not until this one moment was it found. This one perfect moment when I said that no coincidence happened to me today. Ed sits down right in that spot and sees the card. That doesn't seem like a coincidence at all.

nice coincedence-- day 4

When a person goes to look at a house, it is impossible to really get a good feel of the neighborhood. You need to sleep in a house and sit on the porch for a week but real estate agents don't let you do that. After we bought our house we soon discovered we are surrounded by some serious neighbors. Cops cars, screaming, cop chases, domestic abuse and I won't even mention the fourth of July incident. It can be summarized to say there is just yelling from all sides of the house, all hours of the day and night. It is the soundtrack of our home and mildly frustrating at times. But I prefer the life and personality of living in the city opposed to the suburban house hiding. But after almost two years of living in our house our interactions with neighbors seem to be only as the occasion separator of fights. It's hard to pull myself from my suburban house hiding tendencies.  I've been praying for some common ground and that we could be friends with our neighbors who seem to be from another planet at times.

Old brick houses in the summer are like actual furnaces so everyone has been outside doing anything possible to stay cool. The blow up kiddie pool across the street was calling to me so I slapped a good swimmer diaper and sun hat on Jovi and there we were all afternoon. I don't want to negatively describe my neighbors, it is sufficient to say they really just yell all the time. But after some kiddie pool banter, my neighbor and I discovered we are gonna be good friends. We have almost the same birthday and we both turned 30 this year. We talked about how sad that day was and then immediately talked about something else. We shared how hard it is to be on one income but how much harder it is to imagine someone else getting paid to love our kids all day. She has a family member who is obsessed with King Charles Cavaliers, like me. She said she secretly loves my little dog and would love a puppy after I mentioned Bridget could have babies soon. We chatted all afternoon. This isn't a huge shocking coincidence but more the obvious repercussions of what happens when someone crosses the street and sits in someone else's backyard. But we just easily found so much in common and sometimes that takes a long time in conversations with a stranger.  I am just really thankful and excited to know my neighbors better and maybe have a new house soundtrack instead of daydreaming about house hiding out in the woods or burbs somewhere.