Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Snowed In

Ah. Listening to the sounds of neighbors' roaring slow blowers and scrapping shovels, Jovi and I are snuggled up wearing our fleece stripped pajamas and refusing to do anything productive. Mr. Lunch just threw up a piece of lettuce that I told him not to eat. Rudy has been in a warm coil on the couch all day. I decided this morning that I really love my life. I cried and told Jovi all about it. I really thought I would lose my mind being a stay at home mom. I heard the voices of my mom and many others' "You have all that education, now you're going to waste it." And yet I shockingly have won again the thoughts that tell me I'm lazy, a failure or ineffective/unproductive in my faith because I am home. I feel grateful for this precious time. I don't have to wake up early, clean off my car and wear uncomfortable high heels. I don't have to act like someone else all day. I don't have to be in control of a million things.  I just get to watch Jov change. Her little lip pouts, quivering chin, and now the constant raspberries. This is the first time in my whole life I think I've stopped. High School to Undergrad to Pre-Reqs to Grad. School to Teaching.. There went my 20's in a cloud of accomplishment-driven dust. And now I sit with my greatest little accomplishment and try not to think about what next. Just sitting in fleece jammies watching the snow fall. What a freakin' good day.